If a death occurs in a family, it’s the pangalis who par take in the sorrow and chip in to cheer up the aggrieved members. The former are meant to share the grief and happiness. Likwise, the pangalis (families of the same lineage) are treated differently from the sambandhis (families that are related through marriage). For instance, the way an youngster in the family behaves with his/her grandparents is different from his relationship with cousins. There are ways to behave and move with the various relations. “It comes with an unwritten set of codes of conduct. Kinship is part of intangible culture and is a unique legacy that we pass on to the next generation, says Nalini. These days, the connection and sensitivity towards relatives have taken a back seat,” she says, speaking at a lecture organised by INTACH Madurai Chapter. These practises should not cease as the future generation should know the importance of kinship. Likewise the paternal aunt (athai) also has a vital role. “The authority of the maternal uncle is indisputable in functions like weddings. Nalini takes the example of maternal uncle or ‘thaai mama’ and the importance attached to it. “Kinship gives identity and responsibility to individuals in family and social spheres.” A strong bond can be seen between the families that are related either by blood or marriage,” observes Professor Dr.B.Nalini, Indian Council of Social Science Research Senior Fellow, Department of Sociology, Madurai Kamaraj University. “The very structure of the society was based on familial kinship and that’s why we see Tamils giving much importance to relatives to this day.
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